Time

It's such a relative concept and one that is generally taken for granted. I look at E and I wonder where the time has gone. It wasn't too long ago that I had a life without her in it, but I can't imagine my life without her, it's so odd for me to look back at the time and where it has gone.

We always think we have more time. More time to accomplish this goal, I can get to it next week, I can do it next year, until years go by and we no longer think we have the time to do what we always wanted to do. Having E and watching her grow and change into this amazing person has shown me that I need to enjoy what I have now. I do my best to stop and smell the roses, to take her on walks, to talk with her. Even if I'm tired, I may pull her into bed with me just so she can give me the tickles and talk to me about her day. She is so precious, but what's even more precious is the time we take to enjoy life.

I'm constantly running around, doing my best to accomplish a list of goals and tasks needed just for daily living. For example, get the laundry done, clean the bathroom, wash the dishes, prep the meals, the list never ends! I can plan as much as I want and let the stress of it all weigh me down, or I can do what I can and make sure that E and I spend some time laughing. It definitely isn't easy.

The hardest part is also dating and trying to have my own life. I have learned, over the years, that spending time with E and making her life better is just as important as me taking time for myself. I usually put myself last, as I feel is the case with most mothers out there. We will do anything so that they have a better life, a good life, give them a good step forward. However, the best way to do that is by example. How can I expect her to do well if I don't do it for myself? So when she has her homework from school to do, I help her with it, but then I also make sure that I have mine out as well so she can see that I make it a priority as well.

When it comes to dating, I keep my life separate in that area, but I also want to make sure that she understands that mommy has friends too. There's such a balancing act within this one area. I do my best, but being a single mom isn't easy at all. There's a lot of risk putting yourself out there and I'm not gonna lie, it can be down right terrifying. However, when someone just 'gets' you, there's no denying that connection, just taking it slow and seeing where it leads.