Monday, March 9, 2015

Just keep on walking

You know what I miss? A real connection. Where, you get those butterflies with just a hug. Where arguments are just conversations. When holding hands in a long car ride just make you swoon.

Yes. Human contact, I'm an extrovert like that, where hugging and being close to people are important in daily exchanges. But what I miss are the connections with people that truly know who I am. I don't have to say anything or I'd I do and I'm being, well cranky, I get called a b**** by my best friend and we laugh, cuz frankly, it's true.

I don't know how to do this whole dating thing again. My heart is healed, albeit the impression of him is still there, I just, don't really know how to go forward. I don't want to settle to just have someone there. This person will make a good friend.

That saying always goes, that there's plenty of fish in the sea. Well, there are a lot of creepy ones too. Or you just haven't found Mr/Mrs Right yet. Well, what if it just doesn't happen?

It's like, I'm sad, but I'm not devastated by this, I'm just feeling like, what's the point of all this dating I've done these, gosh however many years? I miss that friendship I had. I don't even know exactly how it happened, but it did. I know I can't create out and I know that I actually have to put myself out there to at least make friends.

I just can't wrap my mind around how to have feelings like that, or even close to that with someone else, again. Maybe I'm just overthinking it all, very right could be.

So time for making mommy friends and meeting new people. I don't feel like I'm moving forward, but rather taking a side trail. I'm looking down at my feet instead of on the horizon. And that's okay for now.

Just one step in front of the other.

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