Thursday, April 16, 2015
I had a wonderful dream that I awoke to this morning. It was peaceful and full of hope and love. I'm left with melancholy now, though. All of this meeting new people, the games played, four years away from it all is a long time to be, well, out of it all.
The dream was one I've had many times, one time where I thought it would actually happen. One where I knew it was going to happen, but it will not happen. We were dancing on the dance floor, some slow song, talking about how beautiful the wedding was, holding one another close. She was a beautiful bride, so happy. She, E, was all grown, married off and happy.
I'm in the arms of my long-term lover, whom helped me raise E, who loves me and her unconditionally. Those two, my lover and E, are smirking at one another across the dance floor. She is accepting congratulations, a beautiful and happy bride, I couldn't be more proud of her, yet she is smirking at us two on the dance floor.
I make the comment to him, and as I do, he gets down on one knee and we are in tears. I've loved him for a long time and I couldn't imagine my life without him. It was beautiful, it was wonderful.
As I previously stated, I've had this dream before and though I never believed that it would happen in this way, waking up next to him all those days, for all of those years.... E slept next to me last night and she was so cute with her pouty lips, I wish the best for her in her life. I hope for the best beyond words and I know that I am her example. I just, there's just so much love and so much emotion. It's been a long time, possibly a year or so since I last had this dream.