The reason I said what I said the other day was due to an interaction between us. We both have spent some time together, though I've spent most of my vacation time with a variety of other amazing people exploring the town.
The hard part is that with what was said, it didn't break my heart, it felt like I was being stabbed in my soul. I no longer view him in the same way anymore as I once did. I view him now as I do any other lover or partner I've ever had. The special-ness that once existed between us is just gone. It's a fond memory, many fond memories and that's where they should be.
It's odd to view him the way I do all the others (albeit few, but others exist). His reaction was tough to process. He has a lot of things to figure out. I've made myself very clear on where I want things to be and he needs to just do whatever it is he's going to do.
It was a goodbye. A final goodbye.