I was talking with some of my friends recently. We were all discussing dating, relationships... they had such hope in their eyes. I don't mind talking about what I want in life, what I want in a partner, how I want to grow old with a partner, have a real relationship. I guess, I just don't believe in it anymore. I don't believe that people are willing to stick together. It's all about me me me, not about what is best for the relationship. Letting things go, making things work, bending, growing, working together.
You aren't always going to like everything that you do. That's just a fact of life, but yet, we expect this in most relationships. To always be happy. JH said, that being near me brought up a lot of stuff, he pushed me away. It would be wrong of me to say that it did not bring up things for me too. Yet, we never discuss anything.
I'm very much in my own mind right now, spending time with E, now that she is home. I'm not sure what to say. I'm in a weird place, content with being and doing my own thing. I got sick recently and am on antibiotics, which is tough on my system. I hope things work out soon and we shall see if anything changes.