Wednesday, August 26, 2015


I know I've played this song a few times over the years and it originally was written for Mr. B.  I do hope he's happy as well.  Now it's for the end of JH.  He's the only man I ever wanted to marry, have kids, have a family.  Life never works out the way you want and that's okay.  I look forward to getting to know him as a friend.  I'll love him forever.  The ball has been in his court for over a year.  It's time to put that nail in that coffin, I suppose.  He made a promise before he left to find a home for us, and it was that if it didn't work out he'd come home.  He's in massive debt, his expenses exceed his income, to me that's not working out. He'd rather be in the situation he's in than come home or....  So I get it, I do.

Good thing starting though is, I'm starting to rekindle hope again for love.  I want kids, I want a family and it's time to start trying again.

This song is too fitting now.  Yet, it means more to me in ways I don't know how best to express.  I'll always think of him.  I've been told many times that they will think of me when they are old and looking back on their lives.  All I ever wanted was to spend my life and a family, looking back on our lives together.

No one is perfect, I have things that I need to work on, everyone does.  It's commitment and the desire to grow together.  I play for keeps and commitment.

Side Note: Medication is helping with my albino cheetah status on my body due to my allergic reaction.  I'm feeling much better.

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