I'm glad I've listened to my own gut. My therapist, last year, told me that I should go out and start dating again since there was a very real reality with my ability to have children. I'm grateful I did not throw myself back into the dating game.
I needed to just do me, throw myself into dealing with the loss. I'm not perfect, I'm still dealing with that loss. However, I met someone. Someone that I didn't realize when I met him that I'd look at him differently.
It's been a slow progression and I'm amazed. Someone that gets my dorky, sarcastic nature, whom I recently said I like you and I'd like to get to know you better. In what way? I dunno, anything really. I fancy you and your company, what can I say?
I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. I don't think I'll ever be over JH, that's something that you could never get over it just is. This is the first time I've really liked someone new in a long time. I really like this person's personality, disposition ... he's witty and smart. I dunno if there will be any chemistry beyond a very fun and enthusiastic friendship. It's just, I feel pursued and I'm responding in kind. It came out of nowhere, from my vacation.
So again, it's the beginning stages of hey, I like you, do you? Don't you? When will you be visiting again? What's up with your life? I'm socially awkward and I joke about a lot of things and to have someone do that right back. You tend to stop and take notice. The thing that I am listening to my therapist on is to pay attention to values, make sure they align with what I want. How does this person interact with friends? Family? Overall family values? Life goals? All of those fun things. So far, intrigued.
My best friend says I'm smitten. So what? I am. In general, a great new friend. I'm amazed that something stirred in me when I wasn't even looking nor really even trying, at all. Just being me, him being him and it's like, take notice. It really started from a conversation we had a few days ago, sarcastically discussing and talking about pillows randomly. We spent a hilarious couple of hours talking about inanimate objects and I was like, oh L, you're into him. Admit it, you are. You're attracted to him and he has kept messaging you since you left a few weeks ago. Take notice. So I am.
This song came up on a playlist I was listening to and well might as well share a good song with this story. Prost to starting over. I finally feel ready to begin dating again. I want a family, it would be great to share that with someone. It's great to feel desired for my mind, my witty sarcasm (no-holds-bar), body, and random adventures. I'm ready.