Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Changing Times

So many things have changed, this year alone.  It feels like… it feels like a rebirth.  My daughter is at the beginning stages of puberty, is growing  up, developing in a wide range of possibilities, figuring out who she is and who she will become.  I have found my partner, the person that will become my husband, whom gave me my other daughter.  Though only slightly younger than E, boy do they butt heads and yet boy do they love each other.  They come home soon and with the place nearly ready for them, all I can do is dream of holding them in my arms.  My children.

It’s been a whirlwind learning what it is like to live with a partner.  I haven’t done it since E’s father, with whom I didn’t get a very good amount of time together, for various reasons.  A partner that jumps up and helps, even when all I did was ask if he put the dinner in the oven.  It’s like no, I got it, I can do it, I’m just asking if you did, keep doing your thing.  He’s also not used to someone helping out and doing the dishes, cleaning up, really anything.  So we are working out and learning each other’s quirks.

I miss my friends living up here, I miss being close to family for E, I miss a lot of things and a lot of people.  The people that I do know here don’t call back.  I have a few colleagues that I’ve been making friends with, it’s just still, hard, to say, I miss people that ‘get’ me.  Yes my honey does, but still, it’s hard to explain.

So I guess it’s that I must say goodbye to people that I thought were friends that would always be there.  So it is time to let go, I suppose.  I’m happy with where my life is going, it’s just sad because it takes two for a friendship to work.  Maybe it’s too much to ask.

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